Is Privilege Real? Beyond Class, Gender, and Skin-Color.
Do Americans disbelieve in privilege for purely ideological reasons, or is it due to a basic misunderstanding?
Originally Published on Medium.
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Privilege seems to be most fiercely denied, or downplayed when it comes to skin-color, and somewhat less so, gender. Yet, Americans, who seem to discount the prevalence of privilege in every way, surely cannot believe there is no such thing as privilege, except conceding that a person with considerably more wealth than another person is privileged. To that end, what other areas of life do we see privilege playing out on a daily basis?
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Most of these other categories of privilege are not politically or ideologically challenged. Particularly, if I mentioned these categories in a one-on-one conversation, without mentioning skin color or gender privilege. While you, and I are not in a face-to-face venue now, I hope to provide some context about how privilege seeps into our lives without realizing it, or seeing it as privilege, especially if we are not of the category lacking that privilege.
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First, if there is a denial of privilege to the extent I believe there is, it is likely there will never be enough widening of the peripheral vision — by current deniers — that is required to begin recognizing privilege. Denial begets denial. Unfortunately, as an issue, or idea, becomes more contentious and constricted through political machinations, incitement, and accusations, the probability of recognition reversal is narrowed even more. Retreating from such a denial concentration is nearly as unlikely as someone strongly believing in one religion today, and tomorrow joining another, after reading just a few essays. It may happen that easily and quickly in some cases, but such miracles are very infrequent, and difficult to purposefully conjure up.
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Gravitating from one ideological domain to another is extremely rare, except after many minor interventions, over years or decades. When an overnight change does occur, it usually is associated with a significant emotional, or physical trauma. “After my death-defying motorcycle accident, I went from being an atheist to converting to Catholicism.” “I became a socialist when I got very sick, and couldn’t pay all my medical bills.” “When my spouse suddenly died from COVID, I changed my mind about the virus being a liberal lie, and I got the COVID vaccine a week later.” These miraculous changeovers show how stubborn certain frames of reference can be. When we are plunged so very deep into an ideology, getting out is life-change impractical, and community disrupting.
For example, imagine saying out loud to each person in your ideological community you meet in public that you can see their mermaid (of a gender that is attraction complementary) hugging one leg as they stroke the upper inner thigh of the other leg. Note: the “mermaid” is their deep-set, very difficult to relinquish, ideological perspective even though some of it is harmful to others; like denying or upholding a discriminatory privilege. You see their mermaid, but the ideologically fixated deny the mermaid is there, yet you notice that pointing it out embarrasses them, which also makes them angry at you for exposing it.
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Therefore, removing this imaginary, pleasure inducing, barnacle may be impossible, so pointing it out makes you a lunatic, radical, or an atheist, socialist. You are telling people to rid themselves of something that is very comforting, and has comforted them for many years, or decades. You become a community traitor, as you call them decades of stupid. Few people will quickly make the change when you try to confront them with their inaccurate take on reality, a.k.a. their mermaid. Often, they will anchor their ideology deeper, and more fiercely deny their mermaid addiction.
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That said, we should not focus much of our energy on those who anchor their beliefs deeper when their reality is challenged. We must converge on, and convert, those who are still filling themselves with answers to life’s questions. Structuring your life takes a lot of energy, and once that energy is mostly expended, there is not enough energy remaining to overcome a full life of filling in all those new answers. An old leopard can learn new tricks, but it cannot change its spots. The further someone has progressed into their leopard’s life, it is more unlikely they will see the benefits of a spot transplant.
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This is not to say that no older leopard will change in any way, but the odds of a near complete spot reversal reduces each year. But the younger leopard is much less risk averse to change. On average a young leopard can leap higher, and jump down from greater heights. Fear of the unknown is suppressed in more areas of life. Conservatives use fear as their educator. Liberals use more knowledge about more things as their educator. Fear either confuses the adolescent, or is diffused by their risk averseness.
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That risk averseness is a major reason why conservatives fear their children being indoctrinated by schools populated by educators with a liberal bent. For example, liberals teach reality-based sex education, wanting kids to get more knowledge about their reality, and how to manage their lives within it. In contrast, conservatives are bent on scaring kids from having sex by telling them sex of any kind will forever damn their souls. Unfortunately that overly dramatic fearfulness causes familial and faith scarring, and in too many cases means their physical and mental health will also be damned, and damaged.
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When kids get all the real facts, those who would not have had sex due to the general influence of their parents, will get the same effect out of sex education. And the kids who were going to have sex anyway will be less likely to expose themselves to physically and mentally unhealthy sexual activity. Conversely, using fear to control what teenagers do, and demanding chastity, is very risky because their puberty suffused, adolescent brains will give such end times’ remonstrations shorter shrift.
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Just look at the failure of the DARE program. The drug program begins with pre-teens who are more likely to conform to parental direction, but exaggerating about the effects of certain regular, casual, or one time drug use — a.k.a. telling lies to make kids fear drugs — is also a factor in its failure. Kids find out when you are lying to them or exaggerating, i.e. damnation, etc. Lying and scaring is closely aligned with doing a lot of nothing all the way to more of our children dying.
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Therefore, getting more Americans to understand the effects of privilege must be directed towards those who are most likely ready, and willing to change. The 55 to 95 year-old Fox News junky is not going to see the reality of privilege overtaking their belief in the status quo, or a regression to a former status quo. Those who are actually able take in new knowledge, and assess it through a less rigidly informed ideology, are where change is most likely to occur. Once their spots begin to gray in an ideological sense, new factual data is less effective.
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Our worlds are filled with privilege. Some privilege comes from community, and subgroup cultures, some is societal, and some is formed or reinforced by government. Privilege can matter little in various areas of life, and it can have significant costs in others. Our families can reinforce privilege without necessarily noticing their complicity. Even parents who condone positive instances of privilege can encourage other negative components. Recognizing privilege is not political correctness, it is an honest look at how we can be curtailing or excising agency from other Americans with or without realizing it.
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Invalidating other Americans because they do not have a certain level of education, degree of etiquette, dimension of experience, or range of abilities, is one of the ways we dig a moat around people, preventing them from reaching their highest potential. There is a fine line between encouraging people to do more in one area of life, and diminishing others because they have few, or will never develop, the characteristics, connections, skills or talents supposedly required in another area. While almost no one will ever consistently cue up at that fine line, having a better knowledge of that line will help us as a nation to avoid more of the pitfalls past generations have stumbled, and tumbled down.
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Privileges can appear in very localized places. The family has a big influence on our acceptance and education about the value of privilege. Besides the male-female dichotomy in multiple areas that is still a big privilege marker in many families around the world, there were others in my family. As I was the only boy, and in the middle of four girls, I had the privilege that comes from being the only one of a sex. This played out in two major ways, according to an adolescent and pre-teen brain.
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First, I got my own room for most of my pre-adult life. My sisters were all in one room for more than five years. Second, I hardly ever got hand me down clothes or toys, and only from cousins when I did. This would have been the same if the situation was reversed, i.e. four brothers, and one sister. Did this privilege mean I lost some of my ability to share, and live, with others, or to have the appreciation for sharing and living with others?
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You might think the above privileges are insignificant. That would be a correct assumption. Sadly, there are many more just about as frivolous. And many of them hide in plain sight. Most privileges are invisible for those who have them, or easily forgotten, as the hours, days, or years go by. My privileges seemed natural, or how things have always been, and maybe should be. Why should I feel guilty about my privileges? My luck, is my luck. Now, I am justifying them. Justification becomes both a crutch, and a pole vaulting pole for the privileged.
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Privilege can also show up in a very personalized place. Privilege is an enhancing facility for those who have it, and a demoting disability for those who do not. No one comes in at the exact same position no matter the privilege they have, or do not have. Each additional privilege a person has, the higher up they may be placed in the hierarchy. Sometimes these placements are difficult to untangle when considered with many others, but there are a few prominent privileged areas that starkly demarcate the hierarchy.
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Getting mostly Cs, a number of Bs, and an “A” once in awhile, with the hint of a “D” here and there, during high school, likely puts someone on the positive side of the general acuity privilege. Playing two or more sports in a year puts you on the positive side of physical ability privileges. Those demarcations were generally how my high school ended up working out. You could do a bit less in each one, and still hit the positive privileges’ mark.
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However, any significant drop in one of those two areas, mental or physical, would put you and me on the negative side of privilege. Though my stick-to-it-ness was greatly lacking, which affected my grade point in a substantial way, my eldest sister’s educational achievements were not much different than mine. On the other hand, she was not able to play any sports due to having cerebral palsy. Merely having difficulty walking and stepping up stairs gave the teachers and students of the 1960s the impression she was not very educable. Of course, the perspective of school kids and educators probably has not yet completely evolved in respect to students with disabilities.
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Nonetheless there are now elevators, restrooms, curb-less entrances, ramps, and self-opening doors, which give the disabled more freedom, and normality, but how we and society perceive people with disabilities still holds their privilege-rank much below that of the abled-bodied. For example, the likelihood of someone with a physical disability gaining employment is still very low. Between the ages of 25 and 45 only about 40% are employed.
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While my eldest sister was employed much of her thirties and forties, a slight leg injury, made her balance worse, and she was not able to continue at her job, or any job that required most walking. The main reason for her even landing the job she did, besides her own striving, was the actions of her motivated, and intelligent parents who also had a decent income. Our father was a top automotive engineer, and my mother was a nurse for nearly two decades before she got married.
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The privilege I had as an only son had nothing to do with the income, intelligence, or motivation of my parents. The only son privilege I would have had no matter who my parents were, or what they did for work. Did it make me any better as a person than my sisters, or anyone else? No. However, it was not a benign effect. At the very least it gave me a superior feeling at certain times, and in various ways. There was a good chance I was going to get more one-on-one time with our dad, or he could take more interest in me than my sisters. What advantages could that time have provided me? Any supposed, or accidental, favoritism I got because of how my parents acted toward me, or due to my status as the only boy, may have negatively influenced my sisters.
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While none of that possible negative influence may have been detrimental long term to my sisters in any way, the potential was there. It could have been exploited by me, or my parents. My only son and boy privilege is a very minor one compared to other privileges that have a serious societal impact. That said, privilege and its harmful characteristics can occur even if every party is unaware of its impact on others, and no one tries to enterprisingly benefit from it. For example, I have absolutely no interest in being better privileged than my eldest sister, yet I am. Even if I was her sister, or she was my brother, the CP disability would still make me more privileged. Additionally, my ADHD, which messes with my stick-to-it-ness, is a disability in various ways, but because I am abled bodied, I still am privileged over her.
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Recognizing my privilege does not automatically help my sister, or other people with disabilities. Privilege recognition relaxes my peripheral vision, helping me to see the value of the Americans with Disabilities Act, as just one example. Individually we cannot make enough changes to our world to give everyone the ability to be as completely abled as possible. We must work together. Government is one way to help enough people more effectively and efficiently. Once we eliminate government as a unifying part of the solution, our ability to widen our perspective, and go beyond the ideas of ancient societies, is significantly hamstrung. Under appreciated, and unresolved privilege roadblocks are an impediment to a fully flourishing society. Misinformation about who is privileged, and a denial of privilege is one of the ways small (austerity) government ideology is justified.
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Conclusion.
Class, gender, and skin-color are where privilege has the widest scope of negative interactions, and generates the most political angst. Rounding out the top nine privilege generators are ethnicity, religion, disability, immigrant status, sexual orientation, and age. My only son–only boy in the family instance is on the other end of the privilege spectrum, which cause much less harm. We could likely come up with another one thousand instances of privilege. Then we could determine where we are at in the privilege ratings. That is not necessary. We know that nullifying the negative elements of the nine privilege categories above would be an enormous step toward removing the most restrictive roadblocks, and destructive landmines in our society.
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There are Americans who are against the further intermixing of diverse cultures and peoples. Separatism still beats on the chest of certain Americans. This is unfortunate, and unrealistic since they cannot close the floodgates of diversity at this point. America is not the nation it was fifty, 100, or 200 years ago. Nevertheless, some still believe the earth is flat. That atoms and germs are not real. Their religion is the only true religion. Unrestrained CO2 emissions from fossil fuels are natural and harmless. A virus is best treated by getting that virus, but realize that dying to prevent dying does not work as well. And the list goes on….
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While no one can know everything for sure, a modern society must go with reality as we know it best now. American society also must give deference to personal rights as long as the actions that come from exercising those rights do not threaten, or injure, society as a whole. Additionally, we cannot allow arbitrary, unjustifiable privileges to inform, disrupt, complicate, or undermine our future. Class, gender, and skin-color, and at least the six other privileges noted above, can be removed from our society if we want them gone.
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Various strategies can be developed if we are committed to forming a more perfect union. For example, my Jobs Development Platform entirely ends illegal and unethical discrimination in the hiring process.
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