Disarming Absolutists and Authoritarians: Defending LGBTQ, Gender Identities, Gay Marriage

When it comes to the LGBTQ cohort and issues of gender, I do not have all the answers. Like everyone, I am not personally connected to the whole of our diverse humanity, so I will always be at a disadvantage in explaining one perspective or another. Nor can I, or will I, justify every thing that everyone says or does. That said, it confuses me on many levels why people fear those who refused to fit into the non-binary gender category, and why are those same people horrified by the sexual habits of some of their neighbors — who are generally good people. 

Unfortunately, being ‘good people’ isn’t enough for many Americans. Their ideas of human ‘perfection’ and individualism have different points of reference than mine. Though imperfect themselves, these ‘deciders’ believe in their ability to determine what ‘perfection’ is, and how far individualism can be taken. A short definition of the latter would be ‘static-quo individualism’ (notice its oxymoronic futility), and the other is proof-texted  ‘perfection.’ (What I mean by ‘perfection’ is the Ancient Greek idea of the perfect form, something unattainable.)

‘Imperfection’ in this scenario is not a mistake, but where every one of us live and breathe. Those who are ‘allowed’ to determine what this ‘perfection’ is (binary genders) also get to determine what is ‘too far’ from their perfection idea, therefore improper.  Their supposed ownership of this gender categorization is ancient, meaning it is interpretation overloaded, with a convoluted inbreeding of tradition. When these groups employ their selective ‘science,’ it is mainly used as (proof-texting) backfill. 

Conservative evangelical Christians (and many Catholics) and have championed their version of individualism so much that they have nearly destroyed (or never allowed) a true sense of community, and greatly limited the concept of the common good. This is especially true in (red) states where the citizenry is under greater political control by their ideology. It is a closed-in, ostracizing, and clan fetish community, with improvements in the general welfare being restricted to the never enough to solve anything, sect-controlled charity concept — where only (a eugenic verified) ‘deserving’ poor can receive it. Their congenitally exaggerated form of individualism supposedly makes up for every other gap in economic welfare. Ironically and paradoxically, their overly-restrictive structuring of individualism also diminishes the dynamism of individualism, because so many more are left behind. That is why their ‘individualism’ is oxymoronic. 

A community is formed of individuals, not by individualism — as conservatives fashion it. Being different — in any way — is not actually accepted or appreciated in that kind of environment. Such conformity engenders stricter conformity, creating a vicious cycle, as any greater control is further leveraged. When the ruling group is ostracizing more of the individualist community members than other communities, community building becomes oxymoronic. 

And a fraudulent ‘common good’ is being created. A fraudulence created by the (wholly conditional) loving one another concept that holds fast to its hating-on the ‘other’ opposite, or the ‘leper’ mentality of hiding away or ostracizing. Those on the “hate-on” (‘sinner’) side have included, and too often still include, the physically diseased, the mentally dissociative, the undeserving downtrodden, the race discriminated, the disabled, the deformed, the substance-addicted derelict, the (so-called, and the actually harmful) sexual deviant, and of course, those identifying as beyond binary, a.k.a., the gender ‘different.’

Though anarchy is complete and unchecked individualism, which likely creates a catastrophic form of relativism, many kinds of individuals’ individualisms are required for any positive change in society.  Ever since the mid 1500s the states of Europe have lived side-by-side in states of ‘relativism,’ mostly in the realm of religion. Millions were killed before it was understood living together in such a ‘state’ was possible, and actually required to end the wanton and unrestrained bloodshed.  

Today, communities fumble and foul in the area of sexuality and gender, where individualism is ballyhooed mostly in its economic form, and ‘relativism’ is clamped down, thoughtlessly tight, especially on the young, whose brains search, stumble, and strain to form who they are. These young minds must survive under such wanton and often unrestrained attacks by those of ‘perfect’ vision, absolutist religion, and authoritarian (government) intervention.

Current disruptions in the (mythic) status-quo binary gender paradigm (the perfection) has helped engender a highly charged religion-infused political, cultural, and social climate. In the following paragraphs, I explain more of its dynamics, and present some ways to extricate ourselves successfully from the polarizing hold these paradigms have on US.

Here’s a tangentially analogous example of our predicament: “Let’s say that liberals easily dismiss almost all liberal ‘extremists,’ and all conservatives also have no trouble ignoring their own ‘extremists.’ Yet, if curtailing, or tamping down on, political extremism was required, which would make more sense: employing only a liberal’s, or a conservative’s, burnt-on-the-brain-biases, to justify who the extremists are, and which ‘extremists’ should be admonished, and how?” 

To make the fairest judgement possible, we would need an agreed upon universal definition of who is a dangerous extremist, and what is dangerous extremism — that is unbiased (or maybe ‘equally biased’). If there is no universal consensus, we can never really determine who are the ‘actual’ dangerous political extremists, vigilantes, anarchists, etc. or which, if any, of their actions constitute a criminal or civil offense.

As to gay marriage, and multi-genders harming society, (straight) men have not caused The Apocalypse — up till now — even though they have been sexually grooming pre-adult people of all kinds for a few millennia at least,  then encouraging (i.e., forcing) those young adolescence to have sex. Like many priests and pastors have done in the last half century alone (e.g. sex scandals: Legion of Christ {Catholic}, and Southern Baptist Conference {Protestant}).  Such gross, groping, gratifiers of the patriarchal overlorded persuasion have never let binary gendered bathrooms, or toilet stalls hold them back.

Of course, I am not condoning such activities either, quite the reverse, we must find ways to end, or curtail as much as possible, these harms and abuses. Reducing those horrible actions to a much greater degree is only possible if we focus on, and treat, the actual harmful elements of human actions, not apply biased Bible theory and scriptural proof-texting to limit the breadth of human expression. To say that humans should have only two exacting, un-dynamic forms of sexual and gender expressions, is like saying Christian biblical interpretation has been static for the last 2,000 years.

Additionally, I am not suggesting LGBTQ individuals be allowed to do the same as those countless horrible men have done, and are doing. I am saying that, if terrible straight-male persons have not (for all time) collapsed or ruined society, after 50 millennia of travesties — how could a much smaller group of individuals, involved in non-destructive — activities have a worse effect, or really any negative effect? Straight male deviants have done all but 0.000000121% of the societal collapsing and damaging up till now, and will be the ones to bring down the entire curtain of life on earth, if any group ever does. NOTE: Non-destructive means being at least as good as the average male pastor and priest.

Therefore, for the next 50 millennia we should focus only on a ‘conversion therapy’ for the…

•  Patriarchally puffed up persecutors of imperfect persons, as well as the… 

•  Raging and rampaging testosterone-fueled (heterosexual) male rapers of the land, sky, sea, and a huge portion of humanity. 

And not savagely sermonize and mercilessly menace the ‘different’ because they are much fewer, and easier to target. 

This can only mean that if consenting adults of any gender expression want to engage in sex, society should have no say in the matter.  Adults living their lives, whoever they are, married or not, also cannot cause the collapse or ruination of society.  Therefore, secular society having a problem with either non-binary gender or LGBTQ marriage or sex, makes no sense.  

To be clear, I am not denying the value of marriage or of building strong families. Nor do I mean to suggest that sex has no meaning beyond its pleasures, or that teaching our children how best to restrain their urges is not important. It is that no religious monolith built of bigoted historical baggage, nor pernicious perfection preening, or blackhole of shaming singularity, shalt not, cannot, must not ‘directly’ guide our laws. 

There is no denomination, clergy, or theologian, let alone individual, when it comes to interpreting beliefs, that doesn’t lather on, or shave off —  more or less — of those beliefs. This natural watering-down, as well as tradition shellacking, of doctrine cannot have any more importance in a secular society than any individual’s viewpoint on other topics. And luckily, we don’t utilize a totalitarian, law-giving ayatollah — so one person (or sect) is prevented from determining a supposed universal law for all of us.

We are not a Protestant (Christian), Jewish, Mormon, Catholic, Buddhist, Hindu, or Muslim state. We are individual humans formed into a large community, and we must determine our laws from a ‘universal’ perspective, which respect the ‘beliefs’ of all others in the same way. (Even if seven people that claim —or claimed— the Catholic faith sit on the Supreme Court, after Republicans lied to stack it with at least three of them.) Targeting ‘human perfection’ as the rule in a (representative) democracy, whatever ‘perfection’ means from your perspective or mine, or that of some person in the next state, is a frighteningly restrictive (and undemocratic) way to govern a nation of We The People. 

Yes, humans are ‘flawed’ and not all our ‘imperfections’ are equally valid, but to curtail the rights of any person merely because we fear their presence — without a secular, legally justifiable reason to do so — is also nonsensical as well as medieval.  (Or we could simplify things and condemn them as Cathars, Hussites, Huguenots,… and burn and slaughter them).

Creating laws and standards that cordon off, usually a small, percentage of the population is often too hard for a ruling party to avoid.  However, when it is done to agree only with ‘their’ sacred book’s interpretation, they generate a religious rule, not a secular law. As harsh as the word “secular” may be for many religious-sect apologists to cope with, it is what our country is — a secular (and pluralistic) nation. We can be nothing else today, whether or not our nation was founded by many, or some, deeply Christian founders. No religion co-signed our Constitution, and the 1st Amendment (in a mere fragment of a sentence) basically excludes direct religious indoctrination and influence from our laws. 

Another unsubstantiated worry that the gender limiting interpreters have is that people expressing greater gender diversity, or living a gay lifestyle, will influence their children in a more problematic and-or disproportionate manner than the binary and heterosexual cohort. At first that contention may seem harder to assess. Yet, there is no valid evidence that shows harm has occurred from the influences or interactions of people who don’t fit the perfectionist’s form of two genders, and one expression of sexuality. The mother-load of that ‘evidence’ is garbled conjecture, and ancient myth projection. At best the ‘proof’ espoused is formulaic, old-time religion, fear-mongering, and wholly unconvincing, unfounded, even superstitious, assertions.

Therefore, I do not see how non-binary gender, or a gay lifestyle (including marriage) can have any more or less of a positive or negative effect on children than the non-racist and non-bigot — who is actually a racist and bigot —  and allowed to roam free (because we “can’t tell what’s in a person’s heart, bones, or mind,…. Yadda, yadda, yadda,…”).

That leaves us with the religious perspective. Yet if we employ the religious perspective in answering these questions and concerns, there can be no definitive answer, especially if the secular side has any say at all.  The secular side must protect everyone as equally as possible. Otherwise, it is not a modern-day free society, but tending toward a medieval theocracy (soon to allow women the right to drive, or to give the state the authority to dismember disfavored journalists…).

Let’s flip the switch to another topic — from back in the day — to gain an enlightening perspective on the value of religious rule (of any kind) over government. Try on this 16th century viewpoint: Should your church be allowing adult baptism, and not offering infant baptism? Well, about 500 years ago both Protestants and Catholics were slaughtering and burning to death people who were against infant baptism. They considered these “anabaptists” heretics. (And weren’t our foreskin-fodders even more correct in former times than we are now in supposedly more relativistic times? Huh.)

The concept of a gay ‘agenda’ or other agendas, and some kind of cabal coordinating it  all, has also been a concern of the gender reductionists and homosexual fear-mongers. I would allay these concerns by simply saying that the damage done by opposers of human gender and sexual diversity has always been, and in the foreseeable future will be — by orders of magnitude — much greater. That is, again, because the (heterosexual) male, under the patriarchal structure, has had all the power to inflict horrible damage on the human body, and psyche. On the other hand, there is no evidence to show that society is threatened by, or collapsing due to, these gender and sexuality influences. And there never has been any definitive evidence, only contrived historical claptraption. 

The only real damage done has been, and is, from the soul-damaging hate spewed and violence inflicted on an incalculable number of defenseless young people by those whose binary bits and bytes are strapped too tight. While a great majority of humans may hug closer to what seems a binary model of sexuality, or gender, on a human diversity spectrum, that does not automatically make others — who don’t gather as close — unworthy of respect, and legal protection. Neither does it deny them the right to live their lives as the closer-to-a-supposed-binary-perfect majority does. 

A gender reveal party may not be your thing, nor may it be making cakes for gay weddings. Yet, the world doesn’t stop merely because the socio-religious theories you apply now wobble or tremble. First, check the settings on the app. Then shut off the phone, and quickly reboot it. After your religious app is back on, make sure everything is no longer lined up in a perfect binary “0” and “1,” robot-like format. (Because that is not reality.) If it is still in binary format, get the latest update (i.e., reality-based interpretation). If it still isn’t working to your satisfaction, have your version of God Venmo you a refund.

Then again, maybe your binary femininity or masculinity identity structure is being challenged by all this new-fangled gender stuff. Well, get a grip, and deal with it. I am not here to psycho (theo) analyze your societal-collapse, dystopian-eschatology conspiracies, that ‘somehow’ relate to gender identity and sexuality.   

Finally, if the supposed Christian — or religious of any other faith — still wants to come after those who are not harming them in any personal and-or secularly justifiable way, please direct your half-baked heresies of hatefulness my way. I will help you see The Enlightenment. 

Otherwise, I ask that you stop the unchristian, insufferable bullying you are doing to anyone, merely for their differences. But if you continue to bully those ‘different’ souls, especially the adolescent, that have done no provable harm, know that your lame god of hate and witch-hunting will not protect you from the wrath that future judgement will bring. 

Remember, a person can be a bigot before they decide they are a bigot. 

> The Definition of a Bigot: “a person who is obstinately or unreasonably attached to a belief, opinion, or faction, especially one who is prejudiced against or antagonistic toward a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group:…”[a.k.a., a person whose ‘protected’ religious beliefs allows them to stomp on a young person’s world, future, and sense of worth, and snuff out their life through hate, gross intolerance and hubris-manufactured moral judgement.] 

Whether my, or your, religious beliefs, gender identity, or sexual habits are evolutionary, God-given, learned, conjured up, or some combination thereof, our Constitution has no place in determining which is what, or which is which. That kind of determination is at most a social discussion, not something for an unhinged, medieval-type inquisitor to rule on, and hand down a punishment for.

Sincerely,

RTC

PS. Authoritarians and absolutists require someone to punch down on to justify their individual superiority, and overall ruling capacity. If you continue to push thousands upon thousands of young people to contemplate taking their lives, and push some portion of them to actually end theirs, you are an absolutist and bigot of the worst kind. Such absolutists have been (and can be) any person, clergy, state, or religion, or all of those wrapped in one — a totalitarian master of the monstrous. The meek shall never inherit the earth with such persons or religious sects in charge. We must eradicate their corrosive mentality and insidious brutality.